I got a call recently from I mom I helped about a year ago when her son was a newborn. She worked hard to resolve her early issues and breastfeeding has been going great since the then. But now that her baby is a year old, she's feeling lonely. In her peer group, most moms … Continue reading The loneliness of breastfeeding the older baby (or toddler)
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I recently came across two different discussions of breastfeeding that share a very important outlook. Rather than presenting breastfeeding as an activity to be mastered by the mom--like golf or gourmet cooking--both view it as an integral part of the relationship between moms and babies. The recent posting by Diana Cassar-Uhl, IBCLC at The Leaky … Continue reading Head and heart are not either/or
"I don't have enough milk." In my work as a birth doula and a peer counselor with the Nursing Mother's Counsel, I probably hear that lament a few times a week. Often, the statement is more accurately "I'm afraid I don't have enough milk." Talking more with the mom usually reveals that the baby is … Continue reading How much is enough? Thoughts on milk-making and motherhood
Dictionary.com lists three definitions for the word "vacation." The third is the simplest: "freedom or release from duty, business, or activity. We have to amend the definition, however, when talking about parents of young (and even sometimes older!) children. Unless you leave the kids with Grandma or a neighbor, vacationing will be very different from … Continue reading Cure for the common vacation
I see that more than the usual number of days have passed since the last blog post. Several times over the last week I have thought about sitting down to write something, but other activities have always taken precedence. For me, the excuse is not "I was sitting on the couch feeding the baby." Many … Continue reading The new parents’ not-to-do list
Babies cry. It is a fact of life. Why? They cry because they need us and their other signals have failed to get our attention. (Yes, babies have lots of other methods of communication--just take a look at some information about infant states.) They cry because they are tired. They cry because they just don't … Continue reading Cry me a river
I know how hard it is to get out of the house. Even after 13-plus years of being a parent and honing the morning routine, I experience many days when getting myself and everyone else out the door is a stressful, last-minute rush. With a newborn, getting out of the house can be even more … Continue reading Get out of the house
There's a line in the breastfeeding video I use in my classes (Baby-Led Breastfeeding by Kittie Franz) that goes something like this: "Don't think: 'I need to get her to eat,' think : 'I need to get her to calm down.'" After about the 50th time listening to that line along with my students, I … Continue reading Your real job as a parent
Even after more than 10 years of helping moms with breastfeeding and more than seven years as a birth doula watching first feedings and then following up to see how things go, I'm not sure I can say with certainty what makes for a "hard" vs. an "easy" time breastfeeding. The first challenge is definitional. … Continue reading It’s either hard or it’s easy
Those of us who have taken marriage vows are familiar with the promise that we'll be there for our spouses no matter what--whether either one of us is sick or healthy. Mothers usually don't make such an explicit promise to our children when we become pregnant. If we did, it would be a one-way vow … Continue reading In sickness and in health: a little selfishness goes a long way
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